thirty.

today is my 30th birthday. to commemorate the occasion, I decided to answer questions that I wrote to myself several years ago.

how do you feel? anxious. it's the first time i've felt this kind of anxiety over my birthday. i've never told anyone this, but i've been imagining what this day would be like for years. 

did it turn out the way you imagined? yes and no. 

how so? i've accomplished a lot, but i'm not sure i've done enough.  

What's something from your twenties that you're really proud of?  going to grad school, living in three different cities. 

if you could tell 18-year-old you anything, what would it be? don't get into a relationship in college. branch out and make more friends. double major in communications + business. 

favorite year leading up to this one? it's tough to pick just one year. 2013-2016 was collectively monumental for me. 

what's next? i'm not sure. i was inspired to create a 30 things to do while i'm 30 list, so i'll probably start there. 

did you have a bucket list leading up to your thirties? Yes. Kind of. I wish I had written them all down, but I definitely had a list of everything I wanted to accomplish before I got here. 

what are some of those things? get into grad school, work in a profession I love, move out of Utah... just to name a few. 

what didn't you get accomplished that you wanted to? Live in nyc, be featured on a 30 before 30 list, live in a loft sky rise apartment, be more sure about myself. Don't get me wrong. I definitely feel more empowered and sure of my opinions than I did at 18, but I still feel lost on some days. I tend to overthink things and I can't help but wonder if I made all the right choices or if I should've accomplished more. I know it's a bit romantic to think, but I always thought I'd feel much more sure of myself by 30. 

what do you want to leave behind from your twenties? all the bad things. that's a bit of a cop out answer, but it makes me think about a quote from how i met your mother (surprise): Why not just say goodbye to the bad things? Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost, to all the times it was a ‘no’ instead of a ‘yes,’ to all the scrapes as and bruises, to all the heartache. Say goodbye to everything you really want to do for the last time." They really nailed it with that quote.

what are you looking forward to? my 40s! ha, i hear it's a great year for women. 

last one. what do you want to tell 10 years from now you? even if 40 doesn't end up being it's all hyped up to be. remember age is just a number. the way in which way we live our lives is what really defines us. 

cheers!